Deck of Cards Mustache Update

I have recently found out the following information :

"Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the Middle Ages: Heart represented the church, Spades represented the military, Clubs represented agriculture, and Diamonds represented the merchant class".

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but I personally believe that clergymen are the least sexy of the afore mentioned professions. Hence, the King of Hearts is unable to grow a sexy mustache. Idk, it made sense in my head.